Improving Your Marriage Without Talking About It
According to some people, talking it out might help. But is this really the case when it comes to your marriage problems? Based on Dr. Patricia Love and Dr. Steven Stosny’s book on How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about It, trying to talk about it to your husband does not help.
To have a good marital happiness is not about better communication but it’s about good connection. If you are connected, it is easy to communicate. But if you are disconnect, you can’t even communicate even if you’ll use the right words. You’ll never have a good relationship with your husband if you talk to him like one of your girlfriends. Men also wants a closer marriages but not if they need to act like a woman. There are four ways to connect with your husband: touch, activity, sex and routines. Thus, the deepest intimacy happens when you are not talking.
Talking to your partner usually won’t save your marriage but it can even pull you two apart. This is because of the biological difference between a husband and a wife. Due to a woman’s vulnerability to fear and anxiety, a woman is usually drawn closer to her partner, in response to this; men usually pull away because of his subtle sensitivity nature. Thus many become a nagger wife and a stonewalling husband.
The book How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about It teaches married couples how to work out their relationship in a way that don’t require trying to turn your husband into one of your girlfriends.
Usually if a woman tries to make improvements in her relationship with her husband, her husband would think that he is disappointing his wife and he is not meeting her expectations. Thus sending the husband in pain of his own inadequacy. This resulted to the husband being insensitive to his wife’s fear of being isolated. He will not have an idea that every time he rejected his wife to protect himself, he is pushing away his wife into the pain of isolation.
Many married couples are trap to this kind of pattern because of the invisible trends of vulnerabilities that influences a couple. In the beginning of a relationship, two people fall in love can see and feel the delicate emotion of their partner due to the chemical in our brain. But if these chemicals wear off, in order to make their relationship works they must constant make efforts to protect each other’s weaknesses.
So forget everything about being frank, sharing your feelings or getting him to talk. It just won’t work because this simply sum up to “Men are just not comfortable talking about it.
If your relationship is on its last leg, and you want to know how to improve your marriage, then head on over to my site, howtoimproveyourmarriage.com, for ideas like how to improve your marriage without talking…
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