Any constructive advice would be much appreciated!

To give some background, I am from the UK and my wife and I have been married for nearly 8 years. Rather than go into details about our history I admit that I have not been the sort of husband that I should have been. I have made mistakes (not full blown affairs or sleeping with anybody, but some things up to that), and I have also been critical a lot of time, which when I look back (32 now, got married at 24), I feel terrible about and also naive.

So, here we are now and I keep making a lot of the same mistakes in terms of being critical. I know marriage isn’t perfect and takes a lot of work, but recently her mother in law has become an issue. Specifically, it is to do with her health and who will be able to pay for her medical expenses when she gets older. My wife recently got a bit of bad news about her mum health wise and me being me, rather than be comforting I pretty much started asking who will look after her when she is older, who will pay for her medical expenses as she doesn’t have any health insurance. I know there is medicare, but my wife said if she needs specialist care, then we would help in any way that we can.

I gave her a hard time about this and whilst I know that she is her family, I also feel that we are saving for our future and our retirement. I am starting to really dislike myself for this sort of attitude and I want to change it and be more supportive. It has got to the point where she has asked me to move out and I know this is because of the years of criticism about her and her family.

I guess I just want to find out whether other people have gone through this sort of thing regarding medical expenses and perhaps how best to handle it with a bit more sensitivity.

This was a long post, but any feedback really would be much appreciated.

Thanks.

C.

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