Comments on: What you take advice from a divorced person about marriage problems?

By: simplesilverstar

simplesilverstar — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 11:10:57 +0000

We can learn from their mistakes
and AVOID committing them.

I do somewhat agree with you…

The best advisors should be

those who have overcome adversities

and surviving the odds of their

marriages successfully.

If you follow some of those with failed ones (due to own follies),

chances are that they will advise you to quit and go easily,

when much could have been done to rectify the problems.:)

By: lolamom

lolamom — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 15:54:28 +0000

Yes. I know way more about marriage now than I did before or while I was married. The worst advice I got was from my MIL who has been married 47 years. The reason she has been married that long is b/c she put up with all kinds of crap, verbal and emotional abuse. Her advice was so wrong for me. I am much stronger than that and have chosen not to put up with what she did.

Just because someone has been married for a while does not mean that they have a good marriage or the kind of marriage you would want. So, I say take advice from both married and divorce people. The more experiences the better!

By: soul-doc

soul-doc — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 00:22:04 +0000

Once again… It takes 2 people to make a marriage work so it would depend on which one of the two you consult.

By: Anna Banana

Anna Banana — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 22:56:13 +0000

Some of them know BEST. At least they can tell you what NOT to do. I would never take advice from an angry divorced person but I would take advice from someone that has had time to reflect on the experience. I always use to say that I would never take dieting advice from a fat person (long story) but oddly enough they usually know more than we do, they just can’t follow their own advice.

By: bubbynathan05

bubbynathan05 — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 11:00:32 +0000

Why do you say, ‘If they couldn’t make their marriage work…..’? Have you ever been in a relationship? Do you understand what it takes to make a marriage work? And how sometimes no matter what you do it just can’t? It doesn’t make a person a failure at marriage and therefore make them give untrustworthy advice. It makes their view of how things can happen valuable.

By: MayberryNR5

MayberryNR5 — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 15:05:46 +0000

Maybe it depended on wht the situation was… I have a few times before…and I even took advice from someone who was never married.. I really just needed someone to listen that was not in the situation

By: Hearts Inconvenient Truth

Hearts Inconvenient Truth — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 03:43:25 +0000

i wouldn’t mind listening to their experience and advice.
to follow it, its your choice.

By: WhatToDO

WhatToDO — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 12:46:03 +0000

Be carefull now. There are a lot of people who are divorced that DO have good advice. I for one have a lot of good advice. I am divorced and it was for a good reason. And believe me, I’m not divorced from my lack of trying. There are a lot of people who are divorced for many different reasons. For me, I got married too young and picked the wrong woman. It was my fault for picking her but it was her fault for hiding her true self from me. Don’t be so quick to judge.

By: chriswswife

chriswswife — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 08:00:47 +0000

lol, well, count me in as one of the ones who has/does take advice from a divorced person.

My 80 year old granmother’s first and only husband was a HORRIBLE cheater-almost like his life depended on it. Granted, I would put money on a bet that she had her part to play, but none the less, he was ultimately in the wrong, and she couldn’t “share her man” any longer, so she finally divorced him…
Some of the best advice she has given to me is: never go to bed angry…. keep communication OPEN…. Don’t nag…

Simple yet very true advice, that if I would apply more often, I know I’d see very positive results. Honestly, it’s foolish to outright discount someone who has genuinely learned from a mistake they’ve made. In a way, that is part of why we remember things-to share what WE’VE experienced and subsequently learned, with others who haven’t yet been there.

In a way, your question could be reasked as-would you take advice from someone who’s still married, but had HUGE marital struggles for years?
Ultimately, divorce is a HORRIBLE choice, but you can always learn from someone who has first learned for themself… keep your mind open, you might be suprised.

By: giwalsh

giwalsh — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 09:24:53 +0000

You should be open minded to any person who has more life experience than you do. You don’t necessarily have to take their advice, just listen. Now, maybe if they have been married and divorced 8 or more times….