Comments on: I need some advice on my marriage please?

By: justaskme

justaskme — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 22:01:33 +0000

It’s becoming obvious that she is not interested in working this out. She is just staying in the marriage in hopes that you’ll be the one to take action. She wants you to be the one who leaves &/or files for the divorce. If YOU leave then in her mind you’re the one who wanted out. How did her last marriage end? She’s not really giving you many options here. I think you need to move out ~ go stay with your parents, a friend or other relative. Also you need to file for an appointment with the Friend of Court to have child support established. This can be done without having to actually file for divorce, this way. Visitation can be set up at time, as well. Protect your rights as a father & make sure this is done right away.

By: bal92708

bal92708 — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 16:26:39 +0000

First off, people change. In marriage one person changes while the other goes about things the same old way day in day out. By the time that person sees the difference, it’s often too late. It’s a pattern for that person to then blame the other. It sounds like your wife already made up her mind about your marriage, she’s just not ready to leave yet. Maybe she’s hoping you will so she can stay put and not disrupt her life. You could try counseling for yourself, at least learn to handle the stress part of it. That way you’ll be prepared to deal with what the next step could be. Good luck

By: CarlZup

CarlZup — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 07:02:41 +0000

Apparently, only you made the commitment in your relationship. If your side of the story is correct and you have tried and she does not want to then no amount of counseling will change this. I hate to say this, but you have to think about the rest of your life. She will have to bear her own regrets for not being honest with you, or herself, when she married you.

Move on and start anew. But, you still have an obligation to fulfill as a father, a separation would be the best move at this point and frequent contact with your kid(s) to be sure that they are being raised in a healthy environment. A counselor for yourself and a lawyer to protect you and your children(s) interests would be prudent moves.

By: Kimmerz

Kimmerz — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 00:32:55 +0000

Looks like she is ready for divorce, but does not have the nerve to tell you. Maybe you should move out and let her decide what she wants.

By: mellishw

mellishw — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 00:39:13 +0000

Give her a big kiss on the forehead and look at her straight in the eyeballs! You are not her father! Be a LOVER!!! Take her in your arms and kiss her!!!

By: kellygirl

kellygirl — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 15:21:07 +0000

Sounds like its over or she wishes it was over. For whatever reason, she seems to have fallen out of love with you and perhaps in love with someone else. You should focus on being a good father and getting a place that will suit the two (or more) of you after the divorce. This will be a very tough time for your child(ren) and you too, but you need to do what’s best for them. I left my ex-husband about 4years ago, and although it was incredibly difficult, it was the best decision for all of us. Good luck.

By: hope

hope — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 08:18:45 +0000

You said you have asked your wife to go to counceling with you but she won’t so why don’t you go by your self just to help you deal with this issue.

I think you wife may be wanting a single life again and may resent you for being tied up again. How is she with the kids?

I understand your stress and it is probably the worst time for you in this realationship as you need to make up your mind what to do next, and it is very hurtful and fustrating when you love someone and they don’t give it back.

She doesn’t seem to love you sorry mate!! I think she has other interests. If she has she should come clean and tell you.

Yeah if she doesn’t got to counceling or improoves I think you have a right to some happiness and peace(although it will be very hard at first)
and I think you should walk out on her but not on your kids

By: Cyclist 2300

Cyclist 2300 — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:15:38 +0000

Marriage is a two way street………

You can’t just blame yourself…. nor can you just blame her.

Things are not going well….. cause something is missing….. and you have to find out what that something is.

don’t suggest that she go to counseling…. but that both of you go together. You are married…. you are both responsible.

If she will not do joint counseling… then perhaps it is time to suggest a period of separation.

…. DON’T STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE OF A CHILD…… never a good idea.

sounds like the two of you need a new beginning…. apart from each other.

By: Samantha

Samantha — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 10:56:31 +0000

you have to ask yourself how much your willing to do to make this work. Unfortunately i don’t think she is treating you right at all and it looks to me like she wont know what she has with you till its gone. I mean she is talking to another guy already, she is totally in the wrong here. I don’t know if being romantic will help, you know flowers candies nights out. i really hope that it works out for you. but honestly as hard as it is to do you have to do whats best for you. Are there kids involved in this?
Looks to me like she is looking for an easy way out, women tend to not want to be the cause of a breakup so they do what they can to flip the coin if you know what i mean. her distance towards you physically suggest she isn’t physically attracted, it could just be a phase.

By: Randall

Randall — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 10:21:34 +0000

Well she has long since divorced herself from you. She has developed a relationship with other men and it is natural for her to be breaking her relationship with you and blaming you with her problems. A real relationship takes time and effort – of course you must invest your time and effort – and it sounds like you have been trying to, but she spurns your advances because she is already attached to another man. It is past time to separate from her and as she has already another man divorce would be in order.

I know that is a sad tale – she would be happier being faithful to one man – but she must find that out for herself so – let her go. If you don’t she probably just continue to be non-committal.