I need Marriage Advice PLEASE?
Betty Ann S asked:
Okay here is my problem. I have been married to my husband for 10 years we have two children. I am going to say since 2002 my husband has been looking at and participating in sexual chat online with other men. I have confronted him about this issue so many times it is not even funny and I hear the same excuse over and over again. He says I make him feel unwanted and he is curious. Who knows about what. The last time this happened was less then two weeks ago and he was willing to meet another man at a rest stop and see if anything happened between them. The only reason I know this is because I have a keylogger on my computer and I saw the whole conversation. He deleted it so I couldn’t find it when I asked him about it he said to me that he could watch men and women it didn’t matter to him either way but that did not mean he was going to actually meet someone. I am afraid the my marriage to him has been a cover up to hide the fact that he is gay or bi-sexual…What should I do.
He know expects me to forget it like it was a bad dream and act like it never happened!!!! I asked him about counseling because I wanted to see what he would say and all he said was if you think we need it!!!! I think he is just afraid that the truth about his sexuality is going to come out and that is why he is trying to blow all this off….God I am so glad I don’t drink anymore!!!!!
Caffeinated Content
Okay here is my problem. I have been married to my husband for 10 years we have two children. I am going to say since 2002 my husband has been looking at and participating in sexual chat online with other men. I have confronted him about this issue so many times it is not even funny and I hear the same excuse over and over again. He says I make him feel unwanted and he is curious. Who knows about what. The last time this happened was less then two weeks ago and he was willing to meet another man at a rest stop and see if anything happened between them. The only reason I know this is because I have a keylogger on my computer and I saw the whole conversation. He deleted it so I couldn’t find it when I asked him about it he said to me that he could watch men and women it didn’t matter to him either way but that did not mean he was going to actually meet someone. I am afraid the my marriage to him has been a cover up to hide the fact that he is gay or bi-sexual…What should I do.
He know expects me to forget it like it was a bad dream and act like it never happened!!!! I asked him about counseling because I wanted to see what he would say and all he said was if you think we need it!!!! I think he is just afraid that the truth about his sexuality is going to come out and that is why he is trying to blow all this off….God I am so glad I don’t drink anymore!!!!!
Caffeinated Content
bocasbeachbum said,
December 14, 2008 @ 7:00 pm
Your suspicions are probably correct and there isn’t much that you can do. Talk it out and look around for an affair.
DonJ said,
December 14, 2008 @ 9:55 pm
wow,,,,,,First,,why did you not put a stop to this before? I mean,,if my wife were doing this, I would tell her to leave. I would. I mean, what about if he is truly gay, then what? Was he thinking about you?,,I think is time to take drastic measures, and pronto! Good luck!
connectingus said,
December 15, 2008 @ 2:01 am
a – you are probably right
b – you having an affair won’t make it any better – probably worse.
c – the dude needs some help
Brian K said,
December 15, 2008 @ 7:41 pm
OK…..you need a divorce. See a lawyer tomorrow. I am not joking.
Among other things, deception, lying, lack of fulfillment, and any number of a host reasons to get a divorce……..you need to worry about your health.
You are a prime candidate to get Hepatitis, AIDS, or some other dreadful disease from him. End it now, kids or no kids. For your own sake.
SWEET DREAMS said,
December 17, 2008 @ 2:06 pm
i did not have to read all of the story. This a problem that you have to ask him if he like men it is, if he say no bring it to him to let him now that other wise.. get out the marriage because it is no good for the kids of yourself….
please dont let him talk you in to marrage consulation.
Quasimodo1957 said,
December 20, 2008 @ 9:20 pm
Baby….if he’s stooped to the level of meeting homosexuals at rest stops on something like the Jersey Turnpike then its best you file for a divorce. I hate to say that but he’ll either come home with some uncureable malady or found dead and his body stuffed into a dumpster somewhere.
He’s lost his marbles and any person who resorts to something this low has a serious problem. As I’m sure you already know.
cardinalkv said,
December 21, 2008 @ 8:46 am
It seems as if a some point,your husband,probably loved you and in his own way still does,but with these kind of things he is involved with emotionally or in a physical way,are almost certain something he has known for along time,and was trying to be normal,persay as others need to see us in society,clearly he has a problem,in his identity,and you and your children are the bearers of this problem,yes problem,because he chose to get married and bring children into the world,there is nothing wrong with you,so do not say what can i do.or why,he waited to long to admit what he really was like or wanted,Good Luck,and be strong!!! try to get help,both of you if you want to try and work on this,but if he resists,take control of you life,and try to understand how to make life good.
daddy280 said,
December 23, 2008 @ 6:10 am
It is one thing to leave a fantasy life on a computer and be curious, it is another when you actually go out to meet someone. I’ve read that rest stops have become the gay bath houses of our time, and if your husband is willing to go meet someone there, you must ask yourself what else might he be willing to do? Tell him that you can’t be with him while he is experimenting with his life, because it affects you as well. If he wants to experiment, let him, just tell him you can not be part of that. Let him know that he needs to move out, and that he can see his kids, but your sex life with him is over.
Matt S said,
December 23, 2008 @ 9:45 am
Obvioulsy you have been such a bad wife that the poor man has to have homosexual encounters to get any sex. you have 2 choices. 1) Become a better piece of @ss. after 10 years of marriage you are probably fat and nasty as well as think you’re too good for nasty sex. he is bored with you and it’s your fault. 2) Deal with it. Remember, it’s your fault your marriage has turned this way.
mac said,
December 26, 2008 @ 12:33 am
Not much you can do. He needs to face the facts that he is at LEAST bi. Counseling – but I honeslty wouldn’t / couldn’t handle a relationship where the man wasn’t totally 100% into me.
raininonsunday said,
December 27, 2008 @ 12:47 pm
You need to divorce this jerk – right after your doctor’s appointment!!
2008!!! said,
December 29, 2008 @ 2:28 am
I’m really sorry, but I don’t know if there’s much you can do besides divorce. You should try counseling first, though.
juanpantoja1981 said,
December 31, 2008 @ 11:37 pm
KeyProwler is a very good keylogger for things like this, it will get every keystroke and it has a 90 day guarantee!!! KeyProwler is undetectable by All Major anti viruses and Spyware. KeyProwler is the one i use it has Award Winning Email and Phone Tech support. I like KeyProwler alot because it is very simple to use and not overly complicated like the other keylogging software.
here is the address :
tania said,
June 24, 2009 @ 12:27 am
I’ve been married for 20 years. Today is our 20th aniversary. We have two beautiful kids 17th and 15th years old.Ever year 2 or 3 days before my birthday or aniversary i get sick. I get depressed, migraine, and I get so sad that I wish that day would never come.My husband in 20 years never gave me a flower or a hug to say happy birthday or happy aniversary.It means so much to me and i can’t help not getting sad, them at night whem kids get upset with him he says: sorry happy birthday i forgot.
now please tell me today is our 20th aniversary iam at work and i know he will never call me. I was thinking about buying him 20 roses one for each year we’ve been together and give a Iam sorry card for those 20 years of his life that he lost. should I or shouln”t I?