While most extramarital affairs result to divorce, there are couples who still choose to forget the past and work way to get their relationship back to the right track. Forgiving your spouse is not easy; sometimes, it takes time and too much emotional stress to even get to the point of acceptance, but not necessary forgiveness. Successfully surviving an affairmay still fail. But, those who survived the lengthy and painful process of surviving an affair provide good lessons to those who are just beginning to heal the wounds.

1. Promise not to have an affair. Yes, this is the first step you have to take. Take note that your partner has a lot of doubts on you, so if you want begin the rebuilding process, everything must be stopped from meeting, sex, dinner, phone calls, emails, to texting. Cut all the lines, period.

2. Be patient, healing takes time. There is no shortcut to heal the pain and receive forgiveness right away. Your partner may be in deep pain, expect that it will take time before you can receive forgiveness.

3. Take accountability. Putting all the blame to your spouse will not do anything good. If you want to forvige your partner, it is now time to listen. If you are the guilty party, accept the responsibility and constantly tell your partner that you will not commit the same mistake again.

4. Tell your partner what he needs to know. The healing process is much easier when the adulterous partner spouse answers all the questions requested by his or her betrayed partner.

If you have been hiding information about your personal life, now is the perfect time to share it to your spouse. Your partner will better accept you if there are no more secrets he or she needs to know.

5. Submit yourself to your spouse, completely. Whether you are the betrayed partner, you have a better chance of rebuilding your marriage when you submit yourself completely and promise not to have an affair again. When healing, you must always be ready to talk or [listen hear your partner out] for as long as it takes.

6. Don’t forgive your partner right away. Saving your marriage involves forgiving your adulterous partner, but forgiveness must still be earned. Take the necessary pain first, then begin rebuilding the damaged relationship. Forgive after you have overcome the pain.

7. Seek help from the people you trust. Reconnect with relatives and friends who can help you survive and help you feel less isolated.

8. Spend time to be together without thinking or talking about the affair. Spend time with your friends and partner and do activities you both once enjoyed.

9. Expect pain.

Surviving an affair is not an easy process; it involves rage, pain and tears.Ready yourself to face and survive them all.

I have been writing articles about marriage and relationship. I have personally been through a bad experience but have managed to survive an affair.

categories: infidelity,marriage